A pre-tied bow tie is visible from across a room. It’s the perfect symmetry that gives it away — real bow ties are always slightly, deliberately imperfect, and everyone who has ever tied one can spot the difference in half a second.
The good news: tying a bow tie is the same motion as tying a shoelace, performed vertically under your chin. That reframing is what makes it click for most men. The awkwardness is entirely about the angle, not the knot.
Expect ninety seconds the first fifty times and twenty seconds thereafter. Learn it on a Sunday afternoon, not thirty minutes before the event.
Before you start
- Size it first. Most bow ties are adjustable via a slider on the band. Set it to your collar size and check it sits snug without the band showing at the back.
- Collar up, shirt buttoned. Tie it with the collar raised, then fold the collar down over the finished bow.
- Use a mirror at first. Once you know the motion, tying without one is easier — the mirror reverses everything.
The seven steps
1. Drape it around your collar with the right end hanging roughly 1.5 inches lower than the left.
2. Cross the long (right) end over the short (left) end near your throat.
3. Bring the long end up through the neck loop from underneath and pull it snug. Let it hang down over your shoulder for now, out of the way.
4. Fold the short end into a bow shape. Take the widest part of the short end and fold it back on itself so it forms a horizontal bow. Hold it flat against your collar with one hand — this is the front half of the finished bow.
5. Drape the long end straight down over the centre of the bow you’re holding.
6. Fold the long end into a second bow shape and push it — folded edge first — through the loop that sits behind the front bow. This is the step everyone finds fiddly. The loop is there; feel for it with a finger behind the knot. Push the folded edge through, not the loose ends.
7. Pull both folded ends gently and evenly to tighten. Adjust by tugging the folds, not the loose ends — pulling the loose ends will collapse the knot.
Getting it right
Slight asymmetry is correct. If it looks machine-perfect, it looks pre-tied. A real bow tie has one loop marginally larger, a slight tilt, a little character.
Width should roughly match your face. The outer edges of the bow shouldn’t extend past the outer corners of your eyes. Narrower faces need narrower bows.
The knot should sit centred and snug. Loose enough to breathe, tight enough that the bow doesn’t rotate through the evening.
Which bow tie to buy
- Black silk (barathea or grosgrain) — the only correct choice for black tie. Buy this first.
- Midnight navy — a subtle alternative that reads blacker than black under artificial light.
- Butterfly shape is the classic and most flattering. Batwing is narrower and more modern. Diamond point is the most casual.
- Avoid: pre-tied, clip-on, and anything with a novelty pattern for formal events.
For the wider formal dress code, see the black tie guide. For neckties, five knots ranked.
Frequently asked questions
How do you tie a bow tie step by step?
Drape it with the right end 1.5 inches lower, cross right over left, bring the long end up through the neck loop, fold the short end into a bow and hold it at your collar, drape the long end over the centre, fold it and push the folded edge through the loop behind the front bow, then pull both folds to tighten.
Is tying a bow tie the same as tying shoelaces?
Essentially yes. It’s the same motion performed vertically under your chin rather than horizontally at your feet. That reframing is what makes it click for most people — the difficulty is the angle, not the knot.
Should a bow tie be perfectly symmetrical?
No. Slight asymmetry is what signals a self-tied bow tie. Perfect symmetry is the giveaway of a pre-tied one. A real bow has one loop marginally larger and a little natural character.
What size bow tie should I wear?
The outer edges of the bow should not extend past the outer corners of your eyes. Narrower faces suit narrower bows. Butterfly is the classic and most flattering shape; batwing is narrower and more modern.
What colour bow tie for black tie?
Black silk in barathea or grosgrain, self-tied. Midnight navy is an accepted alternative that reads blacker than black under artificial light. Never a novelty colour or pattern for a black tie event.
TL;DR
- It’s a shoelace knot tied vertically
- Push the folded edge through the loop, not the loose ends
- Adjust by the folds, never the loose ends
- Slight asymmetry is correct — perfect symmetry reads pre-tied
- Practise on a Sunday, not before the event
— Mr.Wayne
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